


The Cursed Fic Collection

by danrifics



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, rated c for cursed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:54:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23772652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danrifics/pseuds/danrifics
Summary: a bunch of cursed fic prompts i wrote on tumblr
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	1. Written: 1st November 2019

_**anonymous asked: fic promt phil + sam the surfer so like a phan breakup** _

“I’m breaking up with you” Phil says packing his bags

“It’s because of him… Isn’t it?” 

Dan sits on the floor for no reason other than he does.

“Yeah.” Phil says slinging his bag over one shoulder 

Dan starts to cry.

“It was always meant to be me and Sam” Phil shrugs “The universe knows it and so do you”

“I just didn’t want it to end this way” Dan gets up from the floor and pulls out his phone “But here we are”

Dan types in a few numbers and holds the phone to his ear.

“Hey, Anthony” He says when Padildo answers “We can finally be together”

Phil says nothing as he leaves the apartment and heads to the sports car waiting outside. In the Drivers seat with his beautiful golden hair and wonderful abs is Sam.

“You ready, babe?” He asks as Phil puts a seat belt on

“Where are we going?” Phil Inquires

“To the beach” Sam starts the car and pulls away “We’re going surfing”

**The end**


	2. 20th April 2020

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:
> 
> do you know if there are any dnp fics where phil tells dan that he needs to communicate with his fans more? i just realized that the all dnp fics i read now are just to replace the joint content we arent getting anymore. just like the type of domestic stuff that would be in dan’s story videos on youtube or their instagram stories. and tbh what i miss most is them communicating with their fans. also i think it could be a really funny fic.

Dan sits playing piano. Its where he always is these days. He told Phil that he wants to get better so he can make his own stage show where he forces phannies to listen to him play for hours. Well, he pitched it as forcing but Phil knows those bitches will give them money for anything.

Phil walks up behind him vase of water in hand and sits next to him on the piano stool.

“y’know” he begins, Dan still playing piano while Phil talks. “they won’t come to your show if you don’t communicate with them more”

Dan stop playing suddenly. He’s offended by Phil’s words.

“I just wanna jam out on piano” He says, angrily “and besides i’ve barely spoke to them in months and they’re still buying my merch so i don’t need to talk to them really”

“oh shit, you right” Phil says getting up “maybe i’ll stop talking to them too”

Dan stops playing and gets up too.

“then we announce a show and sell out a whole tour and become even more rich than we are!” Dan cheers

The hug and kiss or something and then idk they go fuck on a pile of money 🤷🏻‍♀️


	3. 20th April 2020 pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:
> 
> sam the surfer and phil wedding, but dan and cat go assist to the wedding and the both reunite and congratulate each other for the successful relationships)

Sam had proposed by the beach, of course he had that’s where they spent most of their time, Phil watching from the sand as Sam surfed the mega waves.

Phil hasn’t expected to find love so easily after Dan had left him for Cat but here he was with Sam the Surfer, his soulmate getting married.

There were so many guests here to celebrate he special day. PJ, Chris, Hazel and some other youtubers that were famous in 2015 that I can’t remember the names of. Phil was so happy people were supporting him and he was even happier when he saw Dan and Cat sitting at the back during the ceremony. It meant a lot to him that they were here. They were a big reason all of this was happening.

Both Dan and Cat waited until the reception to talk to Phil, they didn’t want to make a scene in front of so many people.

“Congratulations!” Cat squeals excitiedly pulling Phil into a tight hug

Phil stumbles slightly at the force she flings herself at him but manages to keep his balance.

“yeah congrats” Dan smiles.

“congrats to the both of you too!” Phil says pointing to Cat, who’s pregnant.

“thank you!” Dan and Cat both say.

Everyone is happy or something and they all lived happily ever after… until about 10 minutes later when Cat finds Dan and Phil going at it in a back room.

nah it’s cool, she’s fine with it actually. but like Sam isn’t so he and Phil get divorced and Dan and Cat raise their 3 babies with Phil.

The End


	4. 20th April 2020 pt 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:
> 
> dnp fighting while processing their divorce because they both want to live with norman so they ask the fish

The lawyer sighs. it’s the 6th time he’s been here this week, each time turning out the same way. His clients can agree on everything to do with their divorce; who gets the TV, The apartment, the camera equipment that he’s not sure why they have but is too afraid to ask. but there’s one thing they keep fighting over.

A Betta fucking fish.

“It was my idea to get him” Phil exclaims “therefore i should get to keep him!”

“i did not learn the oxegyn cycle and put that whole damn tank together just for you to say you should get him! he’s mine!”

“guys please” The Lawyer says “this is the last thing we need to discuss before i can finalise the papers. Please just decide who gets the damn fish!”

Both Dan and Phil cross their arms and huff. They’re being stubborn. It’s sad cos the Lawyer can see how much the fish, Norman he believes it to be called, means to them and it’s kinda making him feel sad seeing them not be able to decide.

He listens to the pair argue for a few hours before Dan finally says:

“why don’t we let him choose”

“that’s a dumb idea” Phil protests.

“actually i think that could work” the lawyer chimes in. “Each of you stand at an opposite side of the tank and whoever he swims too first gets to keep him”

They both do as the lawyer suggests. Dan stands on the right, Phil on the left.

Norman swims in circles a few times, it’s as if he’s deciding. This carries on for a few minutes before Norman decided to just jump out of the tank and lands in a glass of water that the lawyer was drinking from earlier.

It has been decided. The lawyer gets Norman.

The End


	5. 20th April 2020 pt4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> anonymous asked:
> 
> C-dizzle here with a prompt Phil trying to take the bread pillow to bed (or to bread if you will) and dan refusing

Dan is brushing his teeth in the on-suite bathroom (is that what it’s called i don’t know) when he hears Phil enter their bedroom. He’d been filming some wish video all day and Dan had elected not to ask him about the weird stuff he’s bought this time. the Nick Cage pants from last time were too much.

Dan finishes cleaning his teeth and goes back out to the bedroom. Phil is sitting on the bed and he’s hugging something. It takes a moment before Dan realises it’s a pillow and not just any pillow, it’s a baguette pillow.

“no” Dan says, shaking his head “no”

“it’s comfy tho”

Phil protests

“we’re not sleeping with a baguette pillow in our bed” Dan sighs

“we’re not.. but i am” Phil says “it’ll just stay i. my side of the bed”

“fine” dan says

He grabs his Haru pillow fron his side of the bed and the duvet and leaves the room

“where are you going” Phil calls after him

“to sleep on the sofa where there’s no baguette pillow” Dan calls back disappearing downstairs

Phil grabs another duvet from the closet and puts it on the bed and gets under the covers

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS” He heard Dan shout

He’s found the Nick Cage pillow…


End file.
